Bryson Boys

I just read over my last post. The last thing I wrote about Dylan was that I just dropped him off at Caleb's house. It was the first time Dylan had ever been to a friends house without me before. I felt really bad leaving him when he was in the pool and a little scared... but I knew at that moment that he would be fine once I left. It was time for him to spend some time with his friend and to do it without me. Well, I did NOT see the next thing coming. Dylan went from never having been at a friends house before to taking a HUGE, HUGE leap.....

So, I dropped Dylan off at 3pm. At 5:00 I called Caleb's mom to see if Dylan was ready to come home. There was no answer so I left a voicemail asking his mom to call me when it was time to pick Dylan up. At 5:30 I hadn't heard back so I decided to go down and get him. When I got there he was outside riding bikes/scooters with Caleb and said he didn't want to come home yet. I wasn't too happy about the fact that they were riding in the road, with no helmet and no parents anywhere to be seen, but I drove out of sight and watched for a few minutes and saw that they headed back toward Caleb's house.

At 6:15 I was getting even more anxious for him to get home so that I could hear about how his day was. I went back down to Caleb's house and saw that he was at some other neighbor's house at their BBQ and swimming in their pool! I guess Caleb's neighbors invited Caleb's family over for a BBQ and so Dylan went with them and STILL didn't want to come home yet. I was getting nervous because it was getting late, but was happy that Dylan was having fun.

Finally it started to get dark and it was 8:45 pm and Dylan STILL wasn't home. At this point I was getting very uncomfortable with him having been gone for almost 6 hours on his first drop off playdate...not to mention that it was almost an hour past his bedtime and getting dark. Just then Caleb's mom called and said that Dylan wants to spend the night. WHAT!!?? Dylan is scared to go to a friends house for a playdate, what do you mean he wants to spend the night!? I was very thrown off guard. I did not see that coming... not for another few years yet. I know that kids this age have sleepovers, but not Dylan. The first thing that popped into my mind was the fact that he wont use other peoples bathrooms if I'm not there (I know it's odd, but it's true). So I knew that he wouldn't use the bathroom there which could lead to having an accident at night. I told Caleb's mom that I would prefer if she would bring him home. Then she said "Ok, I'll tell the boys to get out of the pool in about 20 min or so and I'll bring him home." 20 minutes!!?? It's 9pm!

So, some time after 9:30 she brings Dylan home and it's Dylan, Caleb, Caleb's mom and his teenage sister. When they get here Dylan starts begging to let me let him spend the night! I'm in complete shock at the 180 degree turnaround in Dylan. I took him into another room and we talked about the fear that I had that he could possibly have an 'accident' at night if he doesn't use the bathroom there. I thought the fear of that alone would deter him from wanting to go, but he still really wanted to go. I said 'What if you get scared in the middle of the night?' and he still wanted to go. That's when I realized that this is a big moment for him and I should let him go. I had always had fears that he wouldn't have sleepovers and stuff because of his anxiety and I should embrace this huge step he's wanting to take. To go from not wanting me to leave his side for a playdate earlier in the day to wanting to have his first sleepover. I had him go to the bathroom before he left and I packed him an overnight bag. I was up all night worrying about him. I was worried because I don't know Caleb's family (they go to our church, but I still don't know them very well) and I had horrible visions of the walls of Caleb's house being lined with guns and smoke detectors that didn't work and all these other scary things and I worried about him having an accident or getting scared.

Dylan came home the next morning and said that everything went well. He said they stayed up til 11pm and watched tv and played video games. It was such a stressful night for me - I felt like I had just dropped him off at college. I honestly think that his first sleepover was harder for me than his first day of preschool or kindergarten. Maybe because it came on so suddenly and unexpected or maybe because it was him choosing to take the big step and it wasn't something he HAD to do. Anyway, we all made it through and I'm still trying to comprehend that he's old enough to do these things. It was sad to walk past his bedroom and see the empty bed. Normally if his bed is empty it's because he's at Ama's house and he's with his brothers, but this time he was alone doing things that big kids do. As sad as it is for me to see him grow up, I am very proud of him for taking this huge step. I've been wanting him to be more independent for SO long... and now that it's here, I am sad that he's becoming so independent. What a roller coaster.